My POV (Point of view)

I'd like to think that Im a realist
But truthfully, Im just a frustrated idealist
Coozy and comfortably living in this warm fantasy
Distant from the "real world" because Im not impressed by reality
Im just little brown martian who has an afro, high hopes and shallow dreams
Real recognize real and everythings not as it seems
I guess I'd rather be hot and bothered by outlandish possibilities...
Then then to face the stone cold harshness of truthood
Livin like its all golden with no restrictions and no tomorrow, its all gooddddd
No limits, thats how I like to live
No walls, bars, or gates, nothin symbolic to the way the "real world" really is
Whyyyyyy we are molded to be ordinary, motivated with no good motives
Thats why I do what the fuck I want, yes you can quote it :)
Most of us think we have free will but not somehow we're not even willing to be free
Everythings scripted, labeled and packaged to be a worthless entity of society
Well it aint gon be me :)
Its not my cup of green tea
Some say its round but there's some sharp edges of this world, if you ask me
So instead of trying to fit in where I get in I continue to color outside the lines and marvel at the possibilities
Yea, idealistically thinkin that realistically I can continue to live in blurred perplexity
But Ima continue to ride with no seat belt because currently
My soul is indulging in sheer ecstasy
Im not sure that the way its suppose to be
All I know is that true appreciation of life is to live it freely


*This poem was needed to keep me sane. I think its funny but its pretty true. Stay true to you.

Subject To Change

The only man who behaves sensibly is my tailor. He takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go with their old measurements n expect me to fit them…


Deep down, I am a little southern lady who has adapted to life in the big city
Seasoned with plenty of flavor but mostly lost in the sauce…
A kaleidoscope of intrinsic colors but mixed in just right to form a shade of caramel brown...
Some may see it as a natural disaster but my afro is really my crown...
Honestly, I'm an introvert with extroverted tendencies
I love big words but without singing the song, I cant say my ABCs
A lover of companionship but married to the idea of continuous personal space
I know Ima champ but most of the time I feel like im the turtle in the race
So I plan to trip up my opponents but stay steady on my own pace
I may have been upset about you being with someone else but I laughed hysterically when I saw her face lol...
For real for real, I bare my soul in every situation
For real for real, Im real to the core and could be brutally honest with no hesitation
Im fresh as fabreeze but I will leave you gasping for air
I only apologize when absolutely necessary cuz most of the time I dont care
Like MC Lite, Im hard as a rock but I just try to let it flow
Often times I feel like Im drowning even when Im holding on...I gotta let it go
Anyway
I say
Fuck the police cuz currently Im speeding in the fast lane
I use the word motherfucker from time to time but I dare not use the Lords name in vain
Its a shame
I've come to reconcile that maybe I wont ever be
Picture perfect like B
Perhaps I'll maintain myself as little short crack in the ass of society...
But regardless if I change or remain the same
You can measure me anew each time we meet cuz please believe im subject to change

Revolution

The world is spinning out of control, gotta hold on tight
Cuz the ones who have control are holding on to it wit all their might
Their motives are corrupt
They're planning the ultimate set up
Wicked leading the blind, deaf and dumb so we all can run amuck
Strategies are being built to extract us from our core
Ejected with lies and then makeshift cures
We take it and we take it til we cant no more
Counterfeit love for an endless war
Gotta get it together and force it to collapse
Rid our minds of the deceit and start to get to know the facts
Because we’re pimped by the system
And the pure have become w*ores
Patriotic love during a never ending war
We take it and we take it til we just can’t take it anymore
Carefully constructed
Intricately designed
Furnished with ideas to take over your mind
No knowledge of self and no love for your brother
Even Nino Brown killed the other son of his mother
Got us thinking its a lost cause
Or we’ve reached the point of no return
Economy distraught cant even keep the money we earn
Painted for mass destruction
Drawn to fabricated truth
Religious leaders maybe apart of the conspiracy
Leaving saints and sinners equally confused
Spiritually lead by some who are spiritually dead
We continue to take it and call it spiritually feed
The government is the G- Unit
And we try to create an American dream
Turn ourselves into entertainers cuz we really aint free
Eyes on us while no ones watchin them
As we continue to be controlled by the man behind the curtain
People are hurtin
And the world is spinnin out of control
Hold on tight unless you ready to be bold

Un-regretfully

Hey...theres only me...

In my one bedroom home
Where I have to live with myself, all alone
And all the decisions I've made thus far
Staring at my exterior and all its scars
I just dont want it to ever be hard...
I never ever want it to get hard,
To ever look myself in the eye
Or ever cry
Out of regret
Nor do I ever want to let
Myself dislike Dana
For any mistakes that were made along the way
I want to grow knowing that everything will be okay...

Hey...theres only me
and freedom is the key
Cant afford to lose myself, and all the entities that make me, me
So as I continue to define myself
I put my past behind myself
Growing consciously and free
To be me
Un-regretfully

The facade

I have...been contemplating the thought...
of...
letting go...of you and people like you...
the artificial ones, along with artificial food...
no more chicken or turkey because they have hormones...
too many hormones... like you lol...im already emotional as it is
i've already let go of fake hip hop...fake friends...and a fake love life...
so whats left???
you and chicken lol...because you are chicken...
i think that in addition to that...im gonna let go of bad drinks...
you know the ones im talkin about...they do nothing for my soul...
im not a drinker...but i dont need or want another drink...
no fake nails...no fake hair...no fake care...
daddy...stop pretending that youre there...
for me
although you try to be...
I just want to be real
and really live life...happily

Mirror, mirror

According to my mirror...
Yes, the one in my bathroom...
On the first door on the right...
On the right side of the room...
Beside the light...
yes...that mirror
I am
a natual beauty
yet a natural disaster

Weight of the World

The weight of the world gets heavy from time to time

But I have to sit back, think about it and realize that it’s not all in my mind

I carry the weight of my daddy...

Whose infatuation with alcohol lead to pain felt by my mother

After tears, fights and fears he left us for another

I do it for her so as I get myself together, so will she I carry her because for all she went through, she expects the best out of me

My sister… who believes in me more than I do

Learning from her mistakes, I carry the weight of her too

For my cousin…Who came into this world as a crack baby

I do it for him so he knows he can achieve greatness to if he’s stop being lazy

Don’t go to school and really don’t give a fuck

Livin in the falsifications of reality but if he dropped the hood mentality it would be pure luck

Maturity maybe

I do it for the baby who has a junkie for a mother and whose dad is simply crazy

I look out my window; say to myself I do it for the poor

The hungry, the hopeless, the rape victim who has turned into a whore

I carry the pain of your addiction

The pain of your dream differed

For those who commit crimes- the hustlers, the murderers

I carry the weight of the world for those who’d rather die

I do it for Doug, Frankie, Eric, and everyone else who I knew back in the day and now live in the sky

Those who stay high

To suppress the world as it comes

I do it for the boys who don’t care about their future and the girls who just wanna have fun

I do it for the teenage mothers who chose dead beat dads

For those who are positive, unsure, or just wish they never had

Sex

Upgraded from a Volkswagen to a lex

The gold diggers

I do it for those who are in jail but didn’t pull the trigger

Niggas

Who call each other that because they have little knowledge of their true self

The ones on capital hill who make money at our expense and hold most of the wealth

I carry the weight of the world for myself

But I gotta make it for them

This thing on my shoulder isn’t a chip or a burden

Its inspiration …That steamed out of my pain, your oppression and those who are simply hurtin

So this is just a reminder to myself cuz sometimes I don’t remember

Why I gotta be the change that I wanna see in this world from January to December

Humility in the Third Eye

I feel tears…welling up in my eye…my third eye that is
The one that I opt to not reveal to the world
So it can never be seen and it never sees…
But right now none of that matters because my vision is blurred
Yet I’m starting to see things for what they truly are
Cant help but contemplate…
What the sighted eye can not see and what the blind and blurred can
This third eye
Is really the window to my soul
Its somewhere between my hair follicle and my toes
No one really knows
because I try not to cry
I call it being strong, but you see humanity in my third eye
Its a sucker for my emotions so you can tell when Im happy too
When Im envious it gets green, like those of E. Badu
But one of these days...
I'll be strong enough to allow the third eye to see
Until then...
I guess Im incomplete

I need to vent

"We dont care what people say"
Can I talk my shit again, Kayne
I think its time
To just remind
You
And anyone like you
that I dont really care what you think about me
and people like me
I wear my hair in an afro
I spread knowledge and love
I am spiritual and have a personal relationship with the most high above
I inhale stregnth and exhale peace
"Gotta slick mouth, you might wanna roll wit me"
Keep my laces tight so i dont trip
And if you try to push me down I'll find a way to make you slip
So watch out
Because Im free...
In mind spirit and body
This is how I look without make-up and I dress according to how I feel that day
I roll wit intellectuals who stimulate your mind and back up everything we say
Okay
But me, myself I really dont care
Look at my hair, does it look like I care?
Because I dont, I do whatever I wanna do
I say whatever I wanna say
I may share myself with some people but I always belong to me
So I am the most important person in my life right now
Therefore no one elses opinions matter!
This is how I live my life
I like to use up all the hot water when I shower...
ommmm so yea- thanks for listening

My reality

I am....
Not impressed by reality
Instead...I prefer to live in a world with no limits
No consequences
Instability is the key
To me
The attainment of freedom in this world is easy
Unlike reality
where you are easily boxed into categories
And shipped out to become an ordinary entity of society
This world with its walls, boxes, shackles and rules
The unexpected is expected, its accepted and not up for ridicule
Inhibition is my mission as I move through this life such as a fish in water
Drowning in the belief that this is all life has to offer
I'd rather swim with no water and float directly under the sun
Not worried about dotting my i's or crossing my t's just letting it go undone

The Truth is...

I may share a little of myself but I belong to me
I pick and choose who I want to let in and which parts of myself I want them to be acquainted with
No one knows me fully but me
Its my way and I like it like that
The truth is...
Im an introvert who either forces herself to become more extroverted or sometimes I just have extrovert tendencies
Its like there are two completely different sides of me
Two conflicting women
Both fighting to prove themselves as the real me
But no one really knows this
Gemini...
Often times I want space just as much as I want companionship
Two extreems, either one or the other
I yern to but the truth is...im never satisfied
The truth is...
I know that no one can love me like I love me so I rarely give people the opportunity to prove themselves anymore
I prefer it that way

Wishful Thinking and American Dreamin...

I live amongst the haves and the have nots
Fighting to not become a product of my environment
In an unstable world, I often feel like Im the most stable person left
Or the other way around…
Am I the most unstable person in this stable world?
Its debatable, I guess…
With unrealistic dreams, I know that I am a dreamer
Entangled in this place that most call “life”
The cold reality is
That we are warm and comfortable living in fallacy
With false promises to build our hopes and dreams
“The American Dream”
What is it
Can one be righteous and truly attain then live in it?
Im often cut deep by the sharp edges of this circular world
As I try to get out through this glass ceiling, Im a determined girl
Limited yet limitless
While reaching for the sky, I cant help but wonder…
What about fate…
Are we fighting to control our lives when a plan has already been drawn up for us
Or does God just give you the opportunity to create it yourself
Only time can tell
For now
I continue to keep up the pace with this world
And maintain the hopes of finally reaching
Success and completion
Because in the end…when its all said and done…with all your hard work…will it even matter?
Hopefully…

On my way home...

I welcome this new journey yet lost on this open road
Buckled my seat belt, cleared off my dashboard, and rolled my window up cuz its cold
Alone
I roam recklessly in the fast lane with no where to go
Signs all look the same but I chose to make a left at this arrow
Shoulda been more careful
Took a wrong turn somewhere back there listenin to some E.Badu
I was on the straight and narrow, til I met you
Turn up the frequency on Baduizum and turn on my high beams
Cuz its foggy out here and nothin is what it seems
I know its reality but it could very well be a dream
Knowing I should pump the breaks, I just pick up speed
All my baggage is somewhere in the trunk, I take it wit me as I leave
It seems
That in this fog I can clear my mind best as the dusk settles
Apply more pressure and put the petal to the metal
I may be a little lost but I'll get back on track, some way, some how
Til then I'll remain laid back, shades black, optimistic wit a hint of a smile
This may take a while...

Cardboard Boxes

I just sigh...
when people wanna know why...
Im not like them or everyone else in the world...
Why Im just a little static in an analogue t.v., perhaps Ima digital girl... Or maybe neither...
Because I cant fit into anyones idot box unless the revolution is really televised
Otherwise
No, I wont fit into your boxes and I certainly dont believe
That anyone should compromise to other peoples conformity's
It only leads
To the lack of consciousness of self, a consciousness that we all need
So dont try to box me up and stick a lable on me
Please :)