I must admit…I’m annoyed
I’m annoyed with myself. I’m utterly disappointed in myself. I exit a relationship, reflect, consider what I could have done better, what he could have done better, and how I will act in the future when it comes to him, and who ever is next. I learn the lesson and always see the light at the end of the tunnel, even if the light is make believe, I convince myself that there is light down the road and It was a greattttttt learning experience.
But there is a pattern in my behavior. It involves me coming off as this STRONG BLACK WOMAN with a no nonsense attitude and thennnn after a while, I lose that. I become extra considerate, extra tolerant and extra understanding. Where do you draw the line???
Take Ray Charles wife for instance, she was strong right, right. But she was also sooo weak for staying with a cheating ass junky right, perhaps. How do you measure your needs against your desires? That’s my problem. It isn’t that my boyfriend is cheating, nor is he a junky, but he is unable to meet some of my needs right now. Patience. Ray Charles eventually got it together, right, right. But for every Ray Charles there is a black man who never gets it together. Is time ever wasted if everything happens when it is suppose to, and on time. I guess it comes down to taking control over your life verses expecting shit to work itself out. What is God’s intent?
And this is another issue that I have. I confuse my damn self over simple issues. My issues are simple, I make things complicated. Maybe it has to do with me being a woman. As it seems, men are naturally logical and rational while women are naturally complicated. Women seem to view the world as a web with interlocking events that lead to this big picture. We pay attention to small detail like how far into the relationship that we hold hands or when we exchange a real embrace and not a simple hug. Men view the world for what it is, nothing more, nothing less. A hug is a hug, hand held is a hand held. It doesn’t mean anything except that another sense is playing a role in two people relating to each other…
Maybe I should just act the way he does, try to think like a man. But then the ying and yang will be all thrown off and im a firm believer in balance, so that wouldn’t work for me. My needs would be that much more unmet!
Whatever, maybe love could make it better….
Friday, May 22, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
CARPE DIEM
So I've been gone for a longggggggggg time. This semester was a pain in the ass...6 classes, 18 credits, working 20 hours a week, and Ubiquity. it was rough. I managed to get a 3.4 though so its all good. Im happy summer is finally knocking on my front door. Come in
So i have a story, its pretty fun.
My sister, Kaba is in la la land. She is not conventional but she is a beautiful person and I love her dearly. She is broke, and has to pay rent, gas for her car, food, and has about 7 or 8 tickets. Yea thats a problem. So we went to Wachovia to open her up a savings account. She gets 25.00 and I do too for referring her. We go in and start with the assistant. Black guy, prolly 5'10, 26 years old, light skinned, cute. We all get to talking while he is putting in her paperwork. He says, "do you have a job" she says nope, yall hiring!?" he was like i think so, whats your resume like, what do you have to offer?" she says "well.........hmmm...i've been living for 19 years." He bust out laughing and is like "ok here is a lesson on what NOT to say during an interview, dont do that again!" she was like" well I was a cashier for about a year but Im in school now" he was like like "whats your major?" She tells him Jazz Studies...he says "oh what do you want to do with that." And with a straight face she says "Nothing". He says NOTHING! and laughs and i smile and she says "yea nothing, I want to be a wife and a mother". He is like oh well I guess youre gonna have a rich husband. She says well yes he has to provide but if he cant I can work. He says "ok work doing what, what do u do?" She says "well, I sing, I dance on stilts-" He was like "WHAT, DANCE ON STILTS" She says yea Im a stilt dancer, oh and Im a storyteller too." By this time he is crackin up and he manages to ask, "WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TELL STORIES TO?" She says "anyone who listens!" The she said "I also plan to obtain a liscene in holistic health practice" He was like "ohhh ok so If I get sick u can give me some natural remedies so I feel better" She was like "YEA!" He was like "ok well good luck with that because I cant do any of that stuff" She was like "YES YOU CAN, YOU CAN DANCE ON STILTS AND TELL STORIES YOU JUST HAVENT CULTIVATED THOSE TALENTS. YOU CAN DO IT TOO" He was like "Naaaaa mannn but Im glad you have the enthusiasm to believe in yourself" Then he turned to me and said "So whats your story, you want to be a homemaker too???"
Yea, I have a job, Im on the right path but honestly this time next year I dont know where I will be. Maybe I'll go to NYU...Maybe I'll be a teacher for Teach For America...Maybe I'll be living in South Africa or Tanzania for a year...Maybe I'll have a good job...Maybe I'll have a shitty one. Fuck if I know.
Carpe Diem - Latin for "Live for the present"
Honestly the only thing that is, is the present and the only thing that was is the past, treat the future like it isnt even here, cuz its not..
So i have a story, its pretty fun.
My sister, Kaba is in la la land. She is not conventional but she is a beautiful person and I love her dearly. She is broke, and has to pay rent, gas for her car, food, and has about 7 or 8 tickets. Yea thats a problem. So we went to Wachovia to open her up a savings account. She gets 25.00 and I do too for referring her. We go in and start with the assistant. Black guy, prolly 5'10, 26 years old, light skinned, cute. We all get to talking while he is putting in her paperwork. He says, "do you have a job" she says nope, yall hiring!?" he was like i think so, whats your resume like, what do you have to offer?" she says "well.........hmmm...i've been living for 19 years." He bust out laughing and is like "ok here is a lesson on what NOT to say during an interview, dont do that again!" she was like" well I was a cashier for about a year but Im in school now" he was like like "whats your major?" She tells him Jazz Studies...he says "oh what do you want to do with that." And with a straight face she says "Nothing". He says NOTHING! and laughs and i smile and she says "yea nothing, I want to be a wife and a mother". He is like oh well I guess youre gonna have a rich husband. She says well yes he has to provide but if he cant I can work. He says "ok work doing what, what do u do?" She says "well, I sing, I dance on stilts-" He was like "WHAT, DANCE ON STILTS" She says yea Im a stilt dancer, oh and Im a storyteller too." By this time he is crackin up and he manages to ask, "WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TELL STORIES TO?" She says "anyone who listens!" The she said "I also plan to obtain a liscene in holistic health practice" He was like "ohhh ok so If I get sick u can give me some natural remedies so I feel better" She was like "YEA!" He was like "ok well good luck with that because I cant do any of that stuff" She was like "YES YOU CAN, YOU CAN DANCE ON STILTS AND TELL STORIES YOU JUST HAVENT CULTIVATED THOSE TALENTS. YOU CAN DO IT TOO" He was like "Naaaaa mannn but Im glad you have the enthusiasm to believe in yourself" Then he turned to me and said "So whats your story, you want to be a homemaker too???"
Yea, I have a job, Im on the right path but honestly this time next year I dont know where I will be. Maybe I'll go to NYU...Maybe I'll be a teacher for Teach For America...Maybe I'll be living in South Africa or Tanzania for a year...Maybe I'll have a good job...Maybe I'll have a shitty one. Fuck if I know.
Carpe Diem - Latin for "Live for the present"
Honestly the only thing that is, is the present and the only thing that was is the past, treat the future like it isnt even here, cuz its not..
Thursday, September 18, 2008
My world, my mind
Some people would say that Im outta my mind
I don’t care to fit into a fed ex box, and be shipped off at anyone’s scheduled time
I’m
Nothing but a possibility
An example of what would happen if people didn’t give a fuck about society
A social experiment of what would go wrong if the world stopped basing themselves off of what they see on T.V.
Guess Im just the outcome of the division in the black community
Never to be
Confused with the multiplication of the typical 80 babies
Apart of the crack kids but at the end of the day, Im just me
And I only add and subtract to myself and my persona as I see fit
No theorem could explain, what you see is what you get
So maybe, since my decimals go on and on, Im outta my mind
An incomprehensible equation, the remainder you still can’t find
I’m
Truly an ass in the crack of society
And the probability of me being ordinary is highly unlikely
With this being said, know that for me, there’s no better place than the state of my mind
I may vacay to the real world every so often but I return home every time
Have you ever felt like it’s a struggle to just be yourself?
You cant find comfort in your own skin cuz no one else is wearing it?
And when you realize that its okay to be EXTRAordinary people act like its horrible. Deep down, everyone wants to be different, or even just wants to be themselves but they are afraid to let go and do them. Im not one of those people…anymore at least. I don’t care about a lot. I try not to even ask for peoples opinions anymore. I don’t wanna know. I just feel like everyone should be free and sit under apple trees and eat grapes all day lol. But I’ve released myself from the pressure of fitting the mold. I’m just me…if that makes any sense…
I don’t care to fit into a fed ex box, and be shipped off at anyone’s scheduled time
I’m
Nothing but a possibility
An example of what would happen if people didn’t give a fuck about society
A social experiment of what would go wrong if the world stopped basing themselves off of what they see on T.V.
Guess Im just the outcome of the division in the black community
Never to be
Confused with the multiplication of the typical 80 babies
Apart of the crack kids but at the end of the day, Im just me
And I only add and subtract to myself and my persona as I see fit
No theorem could explain, what you see is what you get
So maybe, since my decimals go on and on, Im outta my mind
An incomprehensible equation, the remainder you still can’t find
I’m
Truly an ass in the crack of society
And the probability of me being ordinary is highly unlikely
With this being said, know that for me, there’s no better place than the state of my mind
I may vacay to the real world every so often but I return home every time
Have you ever felt like it’s a struggle to just be yourself?
You cant find comfort in your own skin cuz no one else is wearing it?
And when you realize that its okay to be EXTRAordinary people act like its horrible. Deep down, everyone wants to be different, or even just wants to be themselves but they are afraid to let go and do them. Im not one of those people…anymore at least. I don’t care about a lot. I try not to even ask for peoples opinions anymore. I don’t wanna know. I just feel like everyone should be free and sit under apple trees and eat grapes all day lol. But I’ve released myself from the pressure of fitting the mold. I’m just me…if that makes any sense…
Face Value
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time” Maya Angelou
To make it plain, an illusion is nothing but a misapprehension
Something that deceives by producing a false or misleading apprehension of reality
Reality became clear when I first saw your true colors…
How colorful you can be
Unknown to me, so now I feel like a fool
As it seems, I thought I knew…
but surly had no idea
I’ve been had.
Hoodwinked.
Fooled.
Led astray.
Deceived.
Duped
Out winked
Essentially…Im bamboozled
Lesson learned
Knowledge well earned
Face Value is the key
Got blind when I saw you’re true colors, such a discrepancy
Vision blurred
Picture perfect is smeared
Everything is so abstract now
How sad
Yet its funny when clarity is gained
And someone’s true colors become framed
What exactly was your aim?
Was this just your persona
A cruel joke you decided to play
Is this permanent or something just for today?
Nevermind, its okay
because I know that this is you
Dont like what I see
but its reality
Everything is everything at face value
Better understanding of you
A sure representation of the type of shit you put me through
I saw it for my own eyes, now what am I gonna do...
To make it plain, an illusion is nothing but a misapprehension
Something that deceives by producing a false or misleading apprehension of reality
Reality became clear when I first saw your true colors…
How colorful you can be
Unknown to me, so now I feel like a fool
As it seems, I thought I knew…
but surly had no idea
I’ve been had.
Hoodwinked.
Fooled.
Led astray.
Deceived.
Duped
Out winked
Essentially…Im bamboozled
Lesson learned
Knowledge well earned
Face Value is the key
Got blind when I saw you’re true colors, such a discrepancy
Vision blurred
Picture perfect is smeared
Everything is so abstract now
How sad
Yet its funny when clarity is gained
And someone’s true colors become framed
What exactly was your aim?
Was this just your persona
A cruel joke you decided to play
Is this permanent or something just for today?
Nevermind, its okay
because I know that this is you
Dont like what I see
but its reality
Everything is everything at face value
Better understanding of you
A sure representation of the type of shit you put me through
I saw it for my own eyes, now what am I gonna do...
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Katrina
How do you define racism??? If asked that question I would ask myself if white supremacy is still institutionalized? Do black people continue to suffer as a result of white supremacy? And do white people continue to exploit and control black people – mentally and physically? The answers to all of these questions are yes, therefore, I would ultimately define racism through the continuous growth and efforts of white supremacy. Aside from simple acts that some white people do to prove their supremacy- such as calling us nigger and hanging nooses everywhere- the overall condition of black people are shaped and controlled by white people. New Orleans is a perfect example of this. I, along with every other person I have discussed the flood with in New Orleans, believe that our government blew up the levees to preserve the white neighborhoods and to also move the black property owners out so that they would be able to extract oil from the lower 9th. Some may staunchly believe that the government would not do that and that we have moved on from the racism from the past but I would argue that the faults of the past have manifested into the 21st century. Just like a mire amendment did not truly free the slaves, mire laws that are suppose to grant us equality are all illusions. I whole-heartedly believe that the same way that they sold us on the auction block, hung us, burned us, buried us alive, cut off our limbs, raped our women, castrated our men, left our babies empty bellied, broke up our families, deprived us of adequate education and living conditions, deprived us of our history, murdered our leaders, implemented Jim Crow and COINTELPRO, burned down black wall street in Tulsa, have also in fact flooded New Orleans. Blacks are still not considered human beings in Amerikkka! The “founding fathers” documented that we were 3/5 a citizen and the state of New Orleans is a perfect example of this belief. What is most upsetting is when you step back and look past the abandoned homes, overcrowded schools, and oppressive living conditions; you can see the look of hopelessness in the people’s eyes. Every man, woman, and child outside of the French quarters have this look in their face. Three years later and many haven’t even received a simple apology. But maybe the truth is that Amerikkka really isn’t sorry. Every now and then they offer some silly apology for slavery but we continue to suffer. Bush and his crime partners, the dirty cops, crocket politicians, ex cetera- they don’t give a damn. Badu said we were baptized when the levees broke- we were. Only problem is, is that many are still in the water. Some of us are floating around while others are still fully submerged. Mentally, we haven’t regain the sense of consciousness and rebirth that we need in our communities in order to confront this issue of racism. We are drowning in this submission of the acceptance of racism but we really need to look at this for what it is. Racism. My hope is that we can get ourselves together to dissolve the continuous efforts of the controlling forces around us before it’s too late.
DANA
SOOOOOO… two decades (almost) of living and I think I’ve come up with the answer- fuck it.
Men lie
Women lie
Numbers don’t (right hov’)
But some stuff still wasn’t adding up Fuck it- Im through analyzing certain situations, worrying about it, trying to fix it. When it comes to certain relationships with friends or people its should just be natural.Things never turn out the way you expect. WhateverI watch, I listen, I learn
I make mistakes – but no regrets because at that moment that was exactly what I wanted
So fuck it lol
Laces tied tight- I aint trippin
New attitude at age 20 = I aint trippin. Im bouta just DO and worry about MENot sweatin shit, let shit sweat me instead (right, right)
Because all people have their own angle
Their own agenda
And for them to get up may require you to get downIm not down wit it. Just got hip to that crabs in a barrel shit.
But fuck it, fuck em
Im not trying to send bad energy out there
I love hard but I fall harderBut im soooo tired of the same ol’ same ol’
Just starting to recognize that the world is mine when I wake up and I get a chance to evolve into a better version of myself
You think you kno…but you have noooo idea
I am: beautiful, intelligent, lovingI am becoming: stronger by the hour
Family matters, couple of cool friends, and some tough skin“Gotta slick mouth you may wanna roll wit me”
Not the person I use to beIf you’re not wit it get lostIf you cant keep up, stay behindOnly the strong surviveI do it because a
Ima
QUEEN
and that's one thing that will never change :)
Men lie
Women lie
Numbers don’t (right hov’)
But some stuff still wasn’t adding up Fuck it- Im through analyzing certain situations, worrying about it, trying to fix it. When it comes to certain relationships with friends or people its should just be natural.Things never turn out the way you expect. WhateverI watch, I listen, I learn
I make mistakes – but no regrets because at that moment that was exactly what I wanted
So fuck it lol
Laces tied tight- I aint trippin
New attitude at age 20 = I aint trippin. Im bouta just DO and worry about MENot sweatin shit, let shit sweat me instead (right, right)
Because all people have their own angle
Their own agenda
And for them to get up may require you to get downIm not down wit it. Just got hip to that crabs in a barrel shit.
But fuck it, fuck em
Im not trying to send bad energy out there
I love hard but I fall harderBut im soooo tired of the same ol’ same ol’
Just starting to recognize that the world is mine when I wake up and I get a chance to evolve into a better version of myself
You think you kno…but you have noooo idea
I am: beautiful, intelligent, lovingI am becoming: stronger by the hour
Family matters, couple of cool friends, and some tough skin“Gotta slick mouth you may wanna roll wit me”
Not the person I use to beIf you’re not wit it get lostIf you cant keep up, stay behindOnly the strong surviveI do it because a
Ima
QUEEN
and that's one thing that will never change :)
The Critique
Who???First and foremost I am a Queen (lol, if I don’t claim it, who will right…exactly).
And I do what I want because I can.
Shades black…
Pretty laid back…
Plenty try to hold me back, but fuck em (right??? Right)
“Hater n***** marry hater b****** and have hated kids” right Kanye, right
Refuse to excuse, conform or submit to the system
Some call it revolutionary…I call it evolutionary (you may wanna get wit it)
I get kinda complicated once you start to get under my layers (do you dare lls)
I don’t really care
But Im a female who “loves to love to love ya” (right Timbaland and Magoo, right)
And I put my all into the people I care 4 What???
First and foremost I’m a Queen (If I don’t claim it, who will…exactly).
And I do what I want because I can
Survivor
Strong…
You wont see me sweat, you will never see me cry…
I wont give you the benefit of seeing any negative effects you’ve had on me
You only see what I show you…
“I talk a lot of shit cuz I can back it up…”
Sweet
Petite
Self-lover at all times
Fine like wine (lol)(how I have a poem that halfway rhyme? Cuz I can do that lol)
When???
First and foremost I’m a Queen (If I don’t claim it who will right…exactly).
And I do what I want because I can…
Began June 20th back in the 80s…
Last year…
Last week…
Yesterday…
Today…
Tomorrow…
All day…
Every day…
My heart will always be the same
The core of me will never change
Dana Racine- true til the end of my reignWhy???
First and foremost I’m a Queen (If I don’t claim it who will right…exactly).
And I do what I want because I can…
I do everything I do for me
Ima be satisfied with every decision that I make
Even if it was a mistake
Cuz if I claimed to be perfect I’d be fake
So I keep it real and critique my shit on the daily
And every night, when I lay my head on my pillow, I remind myself that despite everything I’m still a Queen (If I don’t claim it who will) and I do whatever I want because I most definitely can
If you don’t have the same attitude you should adopt it
And I do what I want because I can.
Shades black…
Pretty laid back…
Plenty try to hold me back, but fuck em (right??? Right)
“Hater n***** marry hater b****** and have hated kids” right Kanye, right
Refuse to excuse, conform or submit to the system
Some call it revolutionary…I call it evolutionary (you may wanna get wit it)
I get kinda complicated once you start to get under my layers (do you dare lls)
I don’t really care
But Im a female who “loves to love to love ya” (right Timbaland and Magoo, right)
And I put my all into the people I care 4 What???
First and foremost I’m a Queen (If I don’t claim it, who will…exactly).
And I do what I want because I can
Survivor
Strong…
You wont see me sweat, you will never see me cry…
I wont give you the benefit of seeing any negative effects you’ve had on me
You only see what I show you…
“I talk a lot of shit cuz I can back it up…”
Sweet
Petite
Self-lover at all times
Fine like wine (lol)(how I have a poem that halfway rhyme? Cuz I can do that lol)
When???
First and foremost I’m a Queen (If I don’t claim it who will right…exactly).
And I do what I want because I can…
Began June 20th back in the 80s…
Last year…
Last week…
Yesterday…
Today…
Tomorrow…
All day…
Every day…
My heart will always be the same
The core of me will never change
Dana Racine- true til the end of my reignWhy???
First and foremost I’m a Queen (If I don’t claim it who will right…exactly).
And I do what I want because I can…
I do everything I do for me
Ima be satisfied with every decision that I make
Even if it was a mistake
Cuz if I claimed to be perfect I’d be fake
So I keep it real and critique my shit on the daily
And every night, when I lay my head on my pillow, I remind myself that despite everything I’m still a Queen (If I don’t claim it who will) and I do whatever I want because I most definitely can
If you don’t have the same attitude you should adopt it
UNO OUT
*DUCK...DUCK...GOOSE...
Sooo I guess Im the chosen one
I chase you, you chase me
In circles we go
running no where in particular
just for fun...i guess
*DRAW FOUR and the color is RED
You cant be serious
when all I have in my hand are blue and green
dare you to ask more of me than Im currently capable of giving
then I gotta draw too
so I pick up and pick up til I got damn near all the cards in my hand
then when I finally get my red, I gotta give it up
Thats bullshit
So you put me through all this, gave me extra baggage and in the end
still not what your looking for, cuz I dont have the color red???
Okay last game...
*Twister
You tell me exactly what to do and I'll do it
right arm green
left leg red
twist my body like my mind
Im a freakin pretzel
Nevertheless following your directions
With the hopes that you will put me out of my misery
But you would rather watch me fall
Im through
The games we play
Have got to stop one day
Its bullshitbitchassfuckery
And I
Am
OUT
Sooo I guess Im the chosen one
I chase you, you chase me
In circles we go
running no where in particular
just for fun...i guess
*DRAW FOUR and the color is RED
You cant be serious
when all I have in my hand are blue and green
dare you to ask more of me than Im currently capable of giving
then I gotta draw too
so I pick up and pick up til I got damn near all the cards in my hand
then when I finally get my red, I gotta give it up
Thats bullshit
So you put me through all this, gave me extra baggage and in the end
still not what your looking for, cuz I dont have the color red???
Okay last game...
*Twister
You tell me exactly what to do and I'll do it
right arm green
left leg red
twist my body like my mind
Im a freakin pretzel
Nevertheless following your directions
With the hopes that you will put me out of my misery
But you would rather watch me fall
Im through
The games we play
Have got to stop one day
Its bullshitbitchassfuckery
And I
Am
OUT
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
My POV (Point of view)
I'd like to think that Im a realist
But truthfully, Im just a frustrated idealist
Coozy and comfortably living in this warm fantasy
Distant from the "real world" because Im not impressed by reality
Im just little brown martian who has an afro, high hopes and shallow dreams
Real recognize real and everythings not as it seems
I guess I'd rather be hot and bothered by outlandish possibilities...
Then then to face the stone cold harshness of truthood
Livin like its all golden with no restrictions and no tomorrow, its all gooddddd
No limits, thats how I like to live
No walls, bars, or gates, nothin symbolic to the way the "real world" really is
Whyyyyyy we are molded to be ordinary, motivated with no good motives
Thats why I do what the fuck I want, yes you can quote it :)
Most of us think we have free will but not somehow we're not even willing to be free
Everythings scripted, labeled and packaged to be a worthless entity of society
Well it aint gon be me :)
Its not my cup of green tea
Some say its round but there's some sharp edges of this world, if you ask me
So instead of trying to fit in where I get in I continue to color outside the lines and marvel at the possibilities
Yea, idealistically thinkin that realistically I can continue to live in blurred perplexity
But Ima continue to ride with no seat belt because currently
My soul is indulging in sheer ecstasy
Im not sure that the way its suppose to be
All I know is that true appreciation of life is to live it freely
*This poem was needed to keep me sane. I think its funny but its pretty true. Stay true to you.
But truthfully, Im just a frustrated idealist
Coozy and comfortably living in this warm fantasy
Distant from the "real world" because Im not impressed by reality
Im just little brown martian who has an afro, high hopes and shallow dreams
Real recognize real and everythings not as it seems
I guess I'd rather be hot and bothered by outlandish possibilities...
Then then to face the stone cold harshness of truthood
Livin like its all golden with no restrictions and no tomorrow, its all gooddddd
No limits, thats how I like to live
No walls, bars, or gates, nothin symbolic to the way the "real world" really is
Whyyyyyy we are molded to be ordinary, motivated with no good motives
Thats why I do what the fuck I want, yes you can quote it :)
Most of us think we have free will but not somehow we're not even willing to be free
Everythings scripted, labeled and packaged to be a worthless entity of society
Well it aint gon be me :)
Its not my cup of green tea
Some say its round but there's some sharp edges of this world, if you ask me
So instead of trying to fit in where I get in I continue to color outside the lines and marvel at the possibilities
Yea, idealistically thinkin that realistically I can continue to live in blurred perplexity
But Ima continue to ride with no seat belt because currently
My soul is indulging in sheer ecstasy
Im not sure that the way its suppose to be
All I know is that true appreciation of life is to live it freely
*This poem was needed to keep me sane. I think its funny but its pretty true. Stay true to you.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Subject To Change
The only man who behaves sensibly is my tailor. He takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go with their old measurements n expect me to fit them…
Deep down, I am a little southern lady who has adapted to life in the big city
Seasoned with plenty of flavor but mostly lost in the sauce…
A kaleidoscope of intrinsic colors but mixed in just right to form a shade of caramel brown...
Some may see it as a natural disaster but my afro is really my crown...
Honestly, I'm an introvert with extroverted tendencies
I love big words but without singing the song, I cant say my ABCs
A lover of companionship but married to the idea of continuous personal space
I know Ima champ but most of the time I feel like im the turtle in the race
So I plan to trip up my opponents but stay steady on my own pace
I may have been upset about you being with someone else but I laughed hysterically when I saw her face lol...
For real for real, I bare my soul in every situation
For real for real, Im real to the core and could be brutally honest with no hesitation
Im fresh as fabreeze but I will leave you gasping for air
I only apologize when absolutely necessary cuz most of the time I dont care
Like MC Lite, Im hard as a rock but I just try to let it flow
Often times I feel like Im drowning even when Im holding on...I gotta let it go
Anyway
I say
Fuck the police cuz currently Im speeding in the fast lane
I use the word motherfucker from time to time but I dare not use the Lords name in vain
Its a shame
I've come to reconcile that maybe I wont ever be
Picture perfect like B
Perhaps I'll maintain myself as little short crack in the ass of society...
But regardless if I change or remain the same
You can measure me anew each time we meet cuz please believe im subject to change
Deep down, I am a little southern lady who has adapted to life in the big city
Seasoned with plenty of flavor but mostly lost in the sauce…
A kaleidoscope of intrinsic colors but mixed in just right to form a shade of caramel brown...
Some may see it as a natural disaster but my afro is really my crown...
Honestly, I'm an introvert with extroverted tendencies
I love big words but without singing the song, I cant say my ABCs
A lover of companionship but married to the idea of continuous personal space
I know Ima champ but most of the time I feel like im the turtle in the race
So I plan to trip up my opponents but stay steady on my own pace
I may have been upset about you being with someone else but I laughed hysterically when I saw her face lol...
For real for real, I bare my soul in every situation
For real for real, Im real to the core and could be brutally honest with no hesitation
Im fresh as fabreeze but I will leave you gasping for air
I only apologize when absolutely necessary cuz most of the time I dont care
Like MC Lite, Im hard as a rock but I just try to let it flow
Often times I feel like Im drowning even when Im holding on...I gotta let it go
Anyway
I say
Fuck the police cuz currently Im speeding in the fast lane
I use the word motherfucker from time to time but I dare not use the Lords name in vain
Its a shame
I've come to reconcile that maybe I wont ever be
Picture perfect like B
Perhaps I'll maintain myself as little short crack in the ass of society...
But regardless if I change or remain the same
You can measure me anew each time we meet cuz please believe im subject to change
Friday, July 25, 2008
Revolution
The world is spinning out of control, gotta hold on tight
Cuz the ones who have control are holding on to it wit all their might
Their motives are corrupt
They're planning the ultimate set up
Wicked leading the blind, deaf and dumb so we all can run amuck
Strategies are being built to extract us from our core
Ejected with lies and then makeshift cures
We take it and we take it til we cant no more
Counterfeit love for an endless war
Gotta get it together and force it to collapse
Rid our minds of the deceit and start to get to know the facts
Because we’re pimped by the system
And the pure have become w*ores
Patriotic love during a never ending war
We take it and we take it til we just can’t take it anymore
Carefully constructed
Intricately designed
Furnished with ideas to take over your mind
No knowledge of self and no love for your brother
Even Nino Brown killed the other son of his mother
Got us thinking its a lost cause
Or we’ve reached the point of no return
Economy distraught cant even keep the money we earn
Painted for mass destruction
Drawn to fabricated truth
Religious leaders maybe apart of the conspiracy
Leaving saints and sinners equally confused
Spiritually lead by some who are spiritually dead
We continue to take it and call it spiritually feed
The government is the G- Unit
And we try to create an American dream
Turn ourselves into entertainers cuz we really aint free
Eyes on us while no ones watchin them
As we continue to be controlled by the man behind the curtain
People are hurtin
And the world is spinnin out of control
Hold on tight unless you ready to be bold
Cuz the ones who have control are holding on to it wit all their might
Their motives are corrupt
They're planning the ultimate set up
Wicked leading the blind, deaf and dumb so we all can run amuck
Strategies are being built to extract us from our core
Ejected with lies and then makeshift cures
We take it and we take it til we cant no more
Counterfeit love for an endless war
Gotta get it together and force it to collapse
Rid our minds of the deceit and start to get to know the facts
Because we’re pimped by the system
And the pure have become w*ores
Patriotic love during a never ending war
We take it and we take it til we just can’t take it anymore
Carefully constructed
Intricately designed
Furnished with ideas to take over your mind
No knowledge of self and no love for your brother
Even Nino Brown killed the other son of his mother
Got us thinking its a lost cause
Or we’ve reached the point of no return
Economy distraught cant even keep the money we earn
Painted for mass destruction
Drawn to fabricated truth
Religious leaders maybe apart of the conspiracy
Leaving saints and sinners equally confused
Spiritually lead by some who are spiritually dead
We continue to take it and call it spiritually feed
The government is the G- Unit
And we try to create an American dream
Turn ourselves into entertainers cuz we really aint free
Eyes on us while no ones watchin them
As we continue to be controlled by the man behind the curtain
People are hurtin
And the world is spinnin out of control
Hold on tight unless you ready to be bold
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Un-regretfully
Hey...theres only me...
In my one bedroom home
Where I have to live with myself, all alone
And all the decisions I've made thus far
Staring at my exterior and all its scars
I just dont want it to ever be hard...
I never ever want it to get hard,
To ever look myself in the eye
Or ever cry
Out of regret
Nor do I ever want to let
Myself dislike Dana
For any mistakes that were made along the way
I want to grow knowing that everything will be okay...
Hey...theres only me
and freedom is the key
Cant afford to lose myself, and all the entities that make me, me
So as I continue to define myself
I put my past behind myself
Growing consciously and free
To be me
Un-regretfully
In my one bedroom home
Where I have to live with myself, all alone
And all the decisions I've made thus far
Staring at my exterior and all its scars
I just dont want it to ever be hard...
I never ever want it to get hard,
To ever look myself in the eye
Or ever cry
Out of regret
Nor do I ever want to let
Myself dislike Dana
For any mistakes that were made along the way
I want to grow knowing that everything will be okay...
Hey...theres only me
and freedom is the key
Cant afford to lose myself, and all the entities that make me, me
So as I continue to define myself
I put my past behind myself
Growing consciously and free
To be me
Un-regretfully
Friday, July 11, 2008
The facade
I have...been contemplating the thought...
of...
letting go...of you and people like you...
the artificial ones, along with artificial food...
no more chicken or turkey because they have hormones...
too many hormones... like you lol...im already emotional as it is
i've already let go of fake hip hop...fake friends...and a fake love life...
so whats left???
you and chicken lol...because you are chicken...
i think that in addition to that...im gonna let go of bad drinks...
you know the ones im talkin about...they do nothing for my soul...
im not a drinker...but i dont need or want another drink...
no fake nails...no fake hair...no fake care...
daddy...stop pretending that youre there...
for me
although you try to be...
I just want to be real
and really live life...happily
of...
letting go...of you and people like you...
the artificial ones, along with artificial food...
no more chicken or turkey because they have hormones...
too many hormones... like you lol...im already emotional as it is
i've already let go of fake hip hop...fake friends...and a fake love life...
so whats left???
you and chicken lol...because you are chicken...
i think that in addition to that...im gonna let go of bad drinks...
you know the ones im talkin about...they do nothing for my soul...
im not a drinker...but i dont need or want another drink...
no fake nails...no fake hair...no fake care...
daddy...stop pretending that youre there...
for me
although you try to be...
I just want to be real
and really live life...happily
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Mirror, mirror
According to my mirror...
Yes, the one in my bathroom...
On the first door on the right...
On the right side of the room...
Beside the light...
yes...that mirror
I am
a natual beauty
yet a natural disaster
Yes, the one in my bathroom...
On the first door on the right...
On the right side of the room...
Beside the light...
yes...that mirror
I am
a natual beauty
yet a natural disaster
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