Tuesday, December 22, 2009

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Thursday, December 17, 2009


Kisses on my spine
Incense lit
Trace my lips
With your fingertips...
There is a word for this

I am however, daydreaming. Once again infatuated things that I dont have. Because in regards to "bliss", my feet are swift and before it occurs, im long gone...

Kisses on my spine
Incense lit
Trace my lips
With your figertips...
There's a phrase for this
Fuck that shit

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

I Put Up...

A good front
A good smile and wink
A approachable face
Coversation that will make you think
That im fine
about the whole situation...
Im waiting
When I want you to know
How it make me feel
As oppose to being fake
Because I can hide my emotions
All too well
Yes, I've been here before...
I go back to this emotionless place of comfort
For a number of reasons
Firstly, because I can
Secondly, because I want to
Thirdly, because I like to be in control
Of all my emotions
in very situation
I have a funny way of reassuring myself
That you can't upset me
To the point where you can measure how sensitve
I put up...
With bullshit
Broken promises
Lack of loyalty
And wear a disguise
Like everything is fine
My eyese would tell a different story
if you just looked
you dont even notice
not a glimpse
or take the hint
That I put up...
A front
A facade
A false hope that it will be okay
And slowly put away
A portrait
A photo
A memory
anything that reminds me of what we will never be
Because it doesnt matter if i react
or retract
or act
put up
or put away
pull forward
or push thru...
and I
Are, and always have been

A lot of people come to mind when I wrote this (20 minutes ago). Not just men, but relatives, old friends. I really have a shield that only I hold. Behind it is where I put my emotions for safe keeping-I know its dangerous to approach life that way but I do...

Friday, December 4, 2009


There is something about this guy that makes me stop what im doing (like what i was doin b4 i started this poem)
and just think about him (and only him)...
or us (and only us)...
its annoying (but i do it anyway)
I hope that I have the same affect on him as he does me (But i doubt it)
Because every time I see him (which isnt as often as i wish)
I want to take his hand (i like that his nails are clean)
and walk away from any and everyone else (they're distracting)
sit under a tree
and lay
alllllll damnnnnn dayyy
It would make my season brighter (im not sure if santa will do me proud this year)
This chip on my shoulder lighter (its heavy as shit)
if he would just...
lay with me
talk (about politics or nothin at all)
eat grapes (green ones)
and fall asleep
with me (and only me)
today (like right now)...
but its not going to happen
Because Im too afraid
to push harder
Never in a rush to feel rejected
So i will continue to act like Im unaffected
When we walk past each other
and just say Hi