I need to vent

"We dont care what people say"
Can I talk my shit again, Kayne
I think its time
To just remind
You
And anyone like you
that I dont really care what you think about me
and people like me
I wear my hair in an afro
I spread knowledge and love
I am spiritual and have a personal relationship with the most high above
I inhale stregnth and exhale peace
"Gotta slick mouth, you might wanna roll wit me"
Keep my laces tight so i dont trip
And if you try to push me down I'll find a way to make you slip
So watch out
Because Im free...
In mind spirit and body
This is how I look without make-up and I dress according to how I feel that day
I roll wit intellectuals who stimulate your mind and back up everything we say
Okay
But me, myself I really dont care
Look at my hair, does it look like I care?
Because I dont, I do whatever I wanna do
I say whatever I wanna say
I may share myself with some people but I always belong to me
So I am the most important person in my life right now
Therefore no one elses opinions matter!
This is how I live my life
I like to use up all the hot water when I shower...
ommmm so yea- thanks for listening

My reality

I am....
Not impressed by reality
Instead...I prefer to live in a world with no limits
No consequences
Instability is the key
To me
The attainment of freedom in this world is easy
Unlike reality
where you are easily boxed into categories
And shipped out to become an ordinary entity of society
This world with its walls, boxes, shackles and rules
The unexpected is expected, its accepted and not up for ridicule
Inhibition is my mission as I move through this life such as a fish in water
Drowning in the belief that this is all life has to offer
I'd rather swim with no water and float directly under the sun
Not worried about dotting my i's or crossing my t's just letting it go undone

The Truth is...

I may share a little of myself but I belong to me
I pick and choose who I want to let in and which parts of myself I want them to be acquainted with
No one knows me fully but me
Its my way and I like it like that
The truth is...
Im an introvert who either forces herself to become more extroverted or sometimes I just have extrovert tendencies
Its like there are two completely different sides of me
Two conflicting women
Both fighting to prove themselves as the real me
But no one really knows this
Gemini...
Often times I want space just as much as I want companionship
Two extreems, either one or the other
I yern to but the truth is...im never satisfied
The truth is...
I know that no one can love me like I love me so I rarely give people the opportunity to prove themselves anymore
I prefer it that way

Wishful Thinking and American Dreamin...

I live amongst the haves and the have nots
Fighting to not become a product of my environment
In an unstable world, I often feel like Im the most stable person left
Or the other way around…
Am I the most unstable person in this stable world?
Its debatable, I guess…
With unrealistic dreams, I know that I am a dreamer
Entangled in this place that most call “life”
The cold reality is
That we are warm and comfortable living in fallacy
With false promises to build our hopes and dreams
“The American Dream”
What is it
Can one be righteous and truly attain then live in it?
Im often cut deep by the sharp edges of this circular world
As I try to get out through this glass ceiling, Im a determined girl
Limited yet limitless
While reaching for the sky, I cant help but wonder…
What about fate…
Are we fighting to control our lives when a plan has already been drawn up for us
Or does God just give you the opportunity to create it yourself
Only time can tell
For now
I continue to keep up the pace with this world
And maintain the hopes of finally reaching
Success and completion
Because in the end…when its all said and done…with all your hard work…will it even matter?
Hopefully…

On my way home...

I welcome this new journey yet lost on this open road
Buckled my seat belt, cleared off my dashboard, and rolled my window up cuz its cold
Alone
I roam recklessly in the fast lane with no where to go
Signs all look the same but I chose to make a left at this arrow
Shoulda been more careful
Took a wrong turn somewhere back there listenin to some E.Badu
I was on the straight and narrow, til I met you
Turn up the frequency on Baduizum and turn on my high beams
Cuz its foggy out here and nothin is what it seems
I know its reality but it could very well be a dream
Knowing I should pump the breaks, I just pick up speed
All my baggage is somewhere in the trunk, I take it wit me as I leave
It seems
That in this fog I can clear my mind best as the dusk settles
Apply more pressure and put the petal to the metal
I may be a little lost but I'll get back on track, some way, some how
Til then I'll remain laid back, shades black, optimistic wit a hint of a smile
This may take a while...

Cardboard Boxes

I just sigh...
when people wanna know why...
Im not like them or everyone else in the world...
Why Im just a little static in an analogue t.v., perhaps Ima digital girl... Or maybe neither...
Because I cant fit into anyones idot box unless the revolution is really televised
Otherwise
No, I wont fit into your boxes and I certainly dont believe
That anyone should compromise to other peoples conformity's
It only leads
To the lack of consciousness of self, a consciousness that we all need
So dont try to box me up and stick a lable on me
Please :)

Love Dues

I dont...
believe the belief...
that love dont cost a thing...
and that nothing matters like Lauryn said, not even the wedding ring
I dont...
Buy into the concept of love being fifty fifty
Because I have yet to have broken even so someone must of have jipped me

So many give and give so much of themselves til they cant give no moe
Some are enabling selfish opportunist who only want more
Some people put monetary value on it yet end up wit a whore
Some happily wore their heart on their sleeve and now its on the floor
Seems to me that its a chore
To give love and receive it
So with this economy goin the way it is, I dont believe
That too much of anything in this world is free...
So I gotta give a piece of myself to get you to love me?
Thats lovely
And this is an epiphany
That true love requires a lot of giving
Its a business, you give to me and I give to you and happily we'll be livin
And if you dont have love then most people think that your sittin at home singing the blues
So I guess you can color me pink cuz im content
With being behind on paying my love dues

Food For Thought

I eat forgiveness for breakfast...so i start my day off right...
I munch on growth little by little, to evolve? I just might...
I chow down on love every single night...
Wit a serving of humble pie for desert, its aight
I guess you can say I get full off of life...
Yea I get full off life...
But never full of it...
It makes me sick sometimes but I still love it...
I snack on hope when things dont go my way...
I drink some hot tea and gain wisdom to make it through the day...
My diet is imbalanced from time to time but hey...
Im hungry and the only to get through life is to consume it as food...everyday...

Smoke in the City

I hope your not around
If it all comes crashing down
If my world falls apart
I dont want you around
To tell me that you told me so
And that the happening was something that you'd know
Hear the rumbling in the concrete
Of my world falling down past my feet
Defeat
See it before your very eyes
Like when the towers hit the ground
Feel the smoke as I become dilapidated
I would hate it
If you saw me other than elevated
But then again I guess...
Maybe I do want you to be
Somewhere in the vicinity
Not because I need support
Not so that through the ruble you could sort
And not so that you can criticize me like sports
But so that you can see
That nothing will truly break me
Even if I dont stand as strong as I use to
You know what I stand for and its stronger than you
You will feel my spirit and know what once was there
And fear whats next to emerge out of the smoke in the air

Meeee

I guess I can be like the itch on a crack heads neck (noticeably annoying)
The card thats missing in the deck (alone)
A leader in my own band (Revolutionary)
The arm on someone who's missing a hand (incomplete)
The heart of a pusher man (Cold)
Or the artwork on a hippies van (Timelessly beautiful)
With the mindset of the government in Iran (Bush doesnt care about us)
Or the white girl who wants a tan (preferably black)
Or maybe Im just me....
A crack in the ass of society

Bootleg Water

The dollar buys a penny's worth
The government's only focus is the "New World Order"
Brothas and sisters are depressed
So I pacify them with bootleg water
Its not as good as it was when my cousins was pushin it back in the day
But most dont care cuz they chasin that first sip so its okay
This water is over priced and will leave you addicted
Its illegal but I make money off it cuz its defiantly not restricted
Every man for himself, thats the attitude
So I say fuck it and sell my water regardless of if it kills you
As the government gets rich off me and I make my money off of people like you
Like overseers, the police are watchin me but its because they get their cut too
Im no fool
American gangstas called it blue magic, I just call it what it is
Bootleg water, a refreshing twist to this twisted world, now tilt your head back and drink this...