GOOD MORNING

Good Morning face!
Good Morning eyes!
Good Morning Newspaper!
Good Morning Lies!
Good Morning grandmas phone calls at 7 am!
Good Morning text messages from my best friend!
Good Morning alarm clock
Good Morning birds outside
Good Morning drool
Good Morning crust in my eyes
Good Morning tummy
your growl is scary
Good Morning locs
you sure are lookin hairy
Good Morning shower
I know you missed me
Good Morning sisters and brothers
GOOD MORNNG UBIQUITY
Good Morning love
Good Morning life
Good Morning heartache
Good Morning strife
Good Morning lover
twitter, I mean
Good Morning facebook
Im still on your team
Good Morning pizza for breakfast
Good Morning HU
Good Morning raised tuition
Aint nothin new
Good Morning morning, it coulda been worse
Good Morning morning, you made it here first
But afternoon is coming
And when thats thru
I'll have to say Good Night to you

I Put Up...

A good front
A good smile and wink
A approachable face
Coversation that will make you think
That im fine
about the whole situation...
Frustrating
Debating
Im waiting
Contemplating
When I want you to know
How it make me feel
As oppose to being fake
Because I can hide my emotions
All too well
Yes, I've been here before...
I go back to this emotionless place of comfort
For a number of reasons
Firstly, because I can
Secondly, because I want to
Thirdly, because I like to be in control
Of all my emotions
in very situation
I have a funny way of reassuring myself
That you can't upset me
To the point where you can measure how sensitve
I put up...
With bullshit
Broken promises
Lies
Lack of loyalty
And wear a disguise
Like everything is fine
My eyese would tell a different story
if you just looked
you dont even notice
not a glimpse
or take the hint
That I put up...
A front
A facade
A false hope that it will be okay
And slowly put away
A portrait
A photo
A memory
anything that reminds me of what we will never be
Because it doesnt matter if i react
or retract
or act
put up
or put away
pull forward
or push thru...
you
and I
Are, and always have been
Through

A lot of people come to mind when I wrote this (20 minutes ago). Not just men, but relatives, old friends. I really have a shield that only I hold. Behind it is where I put my emotions for safe keeping-I know its dangerous to approach life that way but I do...

Hi

There is something about this guy that makes me stop what im doing (like what i was doin b4 i started this poem)
and just think about him (and only him)...
or us (and only us)...
its annoying (but i do it anyway)
I hope that I have the same affect on him as he does me (But i doubt it)
Because every time I see him (which isnt as often as i wish)
I want to take his hand (i like that his nails are clean)
and walk away from any and everyone else (they're distracting)
sit under a tree
and lay
alllllll damnnnnn dayyy
It would make my season brighter (im not sure if santa will do me proud this year)
This chip on my shoulder lighter (its heavy as shit)
if he would just...
lay with me
talk (about politics or nothin at all)
eat grapes (green ones)
and fall asleep
with me (and only me)
today (like right now)...
but its not going to happen
Because Im too afraid
to push harder
Never in a rush to feel rejected
Neglected
disrespected
So i will continue to act like Im unaffected
When we walk past each other
and just say Hi

Break Bread

Its Thanksgiving time children, time to break bread
Prepare your hearts for the blessing of the food while we as a people continue to wait to be fed.
We sit bed ridden, doped up on meds.
Yes at a table of all the finest dishes we are in a hospital bed.
HIV/AIDS skinny, with flu like symptoms
More than the common cold, yes we are the victims
Injected with an illness that cant be fully described
So we pop prescriptions but most of us aint really alive.
Drink ourselves to sleep and throw it up the next morning,
Drug each other with no concern, pick at old wounds when new new ones are formin.
Murder our brothers keeper and bleach our skin to the point where we are invisible... nah somethin just aint right.
So we gon keep on eatin our hospital food all thanksgiving day and all night
Waitin to get cured
We digest what they give us til we cant stomach it no more...
yes children we are the epitome of a plan gone wrong
And to them our cries for help sound like a hip hop song
We have struggled continuously, loved effortlessly, and have endure pain
At the end of the day children, we have done nothing but sustained
Hundred of thousands murdered with shots to the head
Insensitive to crime, some of us are already dead
Others are in bed
Or sleepwalking with no direction at all
We walk the straight line for the police and are arrested when we fall
Drowning in mass confusion somewhere in the Atlantic others have drifted off with Katrina.
And we STILL waitin for the government to help us but how we know Obama aint gonna be like FEMA.
The souls of our parents' parents are still burning in churches and hanging on trees
Its true- my children, if we hate our roots then we gotta hate the leaves.
Roots being our ancestors, leaves being you
So we take off our head wraps and want to look cool
Modern day fool
Lets sit back and count up what we've been thru
Decades of continuous rape and many moments of deceit
Blood from our head dripping drippin onto our feet.
Oh yes its Thanksgiving, time for a feast!
They prepare their laps with napkins and shake hands with their fellow beast.
At our expense they continue to rise,
Eat healthy, be merry they survive and we die.
Capitalism is controversial when our community is not longer alive.
We aint like them, we dont eat off the same plate
They arrive to the big house on time and we are still late
Our food is cold...and until we get out of this hospital we will remain underfed
Underappreciated
Underthebus
And under the destruction of their meds
If youre hungry
Go out into the plantation, steal whats yours and get fed

Daydreaming of love

Its a lazy afternoon
The evening breeze is about to blow
I inhale calmly while daydreaming
Exhale nice a slow


I release inhabitions
I let go of fear
I touch the surface for solitude
And and this is what I hear...


The crys of my ancestors
The joys of my neice
The war in Iraq
The prayer for peace
The calmness of water
The chaos of wind
The love of each other
The shakles of disappointment
The dodgeball in the park
The burgers on the grill
The tracing of my history
The way love feels

The way love feels

Anything beyond love
I dont see or understand
I embrace my lazy afternoon
And dream about Egyptian sand
Inhale
Exhale
Tighten up
Let go
The world is constantly spinning
So I twirl in a field of flowers
As I learn to just let it flow

Spring Cleaning

I febrezed with the air effects
Wit the lemon smell
You know the kind
But it wasn’t enough
Images of you were everyone, not only on my mind

So
I swept (disappointment)
I scrubbed (frustration)
I threw away (false anticipations)
I took the trash out (items that remind me of you)…of the house and backyard (including your tee-shirt and shorts)
And there you were
Still
You wont just bow gracefully
And leave
So I tucked away (feelings)
I vacuumed (hope)
I dusted (fear)
I sprayed some Ajax, mixed with Mr. clean mixed with Scrubbing bubbles
And then I let it sit
And sit
And sit
On the surface It looked clean
But I knew it was dirty as shit
So this is it
I wiped one good time
Then two good times
Then a third
I squeezed my filthy rag
Over the sink
Then I looked back at what was a mess
And it all became clear
And now
Like right now
I don’t even smell you
Hear you
Feel you
Taste you
See you
Nor the stain that we both thought you left

Face Value

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time” Maya Angelou

To make it plain, an illusion is nothing but a misapprehension
Something that deceives by producing a false or misleading apprehension of reality
Reality became clear when I first saw your true colors…
How colorful you can be
Unknown to me, so now I feel like a fool
As it seems, I thought I knew…
but surly had no idea
I’ve been had.
Hoodwinked.
Fooled.
Led astray.
Deceived.
Duped
Out winked
Essentially…Im bamboozled
Lesson learned
Knowledge well earned
Face Value is the key
Got blind when I saw you’re true colors, such a discrepancy
Vision blurred
Picture perfect is smeared
Everything is so abstract now
How sad
Yet its funny when clarity is gained
And someone’s true colors become framed
What exactly was your aim?
Was this just your persona
A cruel joke you decided to play
Is this permanent or something just for today?
Nevermind, its okay
because I know that this is you
Dont like what I see
but its reality
Everything is everything at face value
Better understanding of you
A sure representation of the type of shit you put me through
I saw it for my own eyes, now what am I gonna do...

UNO OUT

*DUCK...DUCK...GOOSE...
Sooo I guess Im the chosen one
I chase you, you chase me
In circles we go
running no where in particular
just for fun...i guess
*DRAW FOUR and the color is RED
You cant be serious
when all I have in my hand are blue and green
dare you to ask more of me than Im currently capable of giving
then I gotta draw too
so I pick up and pick up til I got damn near all the cards in my hand
then when I finally get my red, I gotta give it up
Thats bullshit
So you put me through all this, gave me extra baggage and in the end
still not what your looking for, cuz I dont have the color red???
Okay last game...
*Twister
You tell me exactly what to do and I'll do it
right arm green
left leg red
twist my body like my mind
Im a freakin pretzel
Nevertheless following your directions
With the hopes that you will put me out of my misery
But you would rather watch me fall
Im through
The games we play
Have got to stop one day
Its bullshitbitchassfuckery
And I
Am
OUT

Subject To Change

The only man who behaves sensibly is my tailor. He takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go with their old measurements n expect me to fit them…


Deep down, I am a little southern lady who has adapted to life in the big city
Seasoned with plenty of flavor but mostly lost in the sauce…
A kaleidoscope of intrinsic colors but mixed in just right to form a shade of caramel brown...
Some may see it as a natural disaster but my afro is really my crown...
Honestly, I'm an introvert with extroverted tendencies
I love big words but without singing the song, I cant say my ABCs
A lover of companionship but married to the idea of continuous personal space
I know Ima champ but most of the time I feel like im the turtle in the race
So I plan to trip up my opponents but stay steady on my own pace
I may have been upset about you being with someone else but I laughed hysterically when I saw her face lol...
For real for real, I bare my soul in every situation
For real for real, Im real to the core and could be brutally honest with no hesitation
Im fresh as fabreeze but I will leave you gasping for air
I only apologize when absolutely necessary cuz most of the time I dont care
Like MC Lite, Im hard as a rock but I just try to let it flow
Often times I feel like Im drowning even when Im holding on...I gotta let it go
Anyway
I say
Fuck the police cuz currently Im speeding in the fast lane
I use the word motherfucker from time to time but I dare not use the Lords name in vain
Its a shame
I've come to reconcile that maybe I wont ever be
Picture perfect like B
Perhaps I'll maintain myself as little short crack in the ass of society...
But regardless if I change or remain the same
You can measure me anew each time we meet cuz please believe im subject to change

Revolution

The world is spinning out of control, gotta hold on tight
Cuz the ones who have control are holding on to it wit all their might
Their motives are corrupt
They're planning the ultimate set up
Wicked leading the blind, deaf and dumb so we all can run amuck
Strategies are being built to extract us from our core
Ejected with lies and then makeshift cures
We take it and we take it til we cant no more
Counterfeit love for an endless war
Gotta get it together and force it to collapse
Rid our minds of the deceit and start to get to know the facts
Because we’re pimped by the system
And the pure have become w*ores
Patriotic love during a never ending war
We take it and we take it til we just can’t take it anymore
Carefully constructed
Intricately designed
Furnished with ideas to take over your mind
No knowledge of self and no love for your brother
Even Nino Brown killed the other son of his mother
Got us thinking its a lost cause
Or we’ve reached the point of no return
Economy distraught cant even keep the money we earn
Painted for mass destruction
Drawn to fabricated truth
Religious leaders maybe apart of the conspiracy
Leaving saints and sinners equally confused
Spiritually lead by some who are spiritually dead
We continue to take it and call it spiritually feed
The government is the G- Unit
And we try to create an American dream
Turn ourselves into entertainers cuz we really aint free
Eyes on us while no ones watchin them
As we continue to be controlled by the man behind the curtain
People are hurtin
And the world is spinnin out of control
Hold on tight unless you ready to be bold

Mirror, mirror

According to my mirror...
Yes, the one in my bathroom...
On the first door on the right...
On the right side of the room...
Beside the light...
yes...that mirror
I am
a natual beauty
yet a natural disaster

Weight of the World

The weight of the world gets heavy from time to time

But I have to sit back, think about it and realize that it’s not all in my mind

I carry the weight of my daddy...

Whose infatuation with alcohol lead to pain felt by my mother

After tears, fights and fears he left us for another

I do it for her so as I get myself together, so will she I carry her because for all she went through, she expects the best out of me

My sister… who believes in me more than I do

Learning from her mistakes, I carry the weight of her too

For my cousin…Who came into this world as a crack baby

I do it for him so he knows he can achieve greatness to if he’s stop being lazy

Don’t go to school and really don’t give a fuck

Livin in the falsifications of reality but if he dropped the hood mentality it would be pure luck

Maturity maybe

I do it for the baby who has a junkie for a mother and whose dad is simply crazy

I look out my window; say to myself I do it for the poor

The hungry, the hopeless, the rape victim who has turned into a whore

I carry the pain of your addiction

The pain of your dream differed

For those who commit crimes- the hustlers, the murderers

I carry the weight of the world for those who’d rather die

I do it for Doug, Frankie, Eric, and everyone else who I knew back in the day and now live in the sky

Those who stay high

To suppress the world as it comes

I do it for the boys who don’t care about their future and the girls who just wanna have fun

I do it for the teenage mothers who chose dead beat dads

For those who are positive, unsure, or just wish they never had

Sex

Upgraded from a Volkswagen to a lex

The gold diggers

I do it for those who are in jail but didn’t pull the trigger

Niggas

Who call each other that because they have little knowledge of their true self

The ones on capital hill who make money at our expense and hold most of the wealth

I carry the weight of the world for myself

But I gotta make it for them

This thing on my shoulder isn’t a chip or a burden

Its inspiration …That steamed out of my pain, your oppression and those who are simply hurtin

So this is just a reminder to myself cuz sometimes I don’t remember

Why I gotta be the change that I wanna see in this world from January to December

Humility in the Third Eye

I feel tears…welling up in my eye…my third eye that is
The one that I opt to not reveal to the world
So it can never be seen and it never sees…
But right now none of that matters because my vision is blurred
Yet I’m starting to see things for what they truly are
Cant help but contemplate…
What the sighted eye can not see and what the blind and blurred can
This third eye
Is really the window to my soul
Its somewhere between my hair follicle and my toes
No one really knows
because I try not to cry
I call it being strong, but you see humanity in my third eye
Its a sucker for my emotions so you can tell when Im happy too
When Im envious it gets green, like those of E. Badu
But one of these days...
I'll be strong enough to allow the third eye to see
Until then...
I guess Im incomplete

I need to vent

"We dont care what people say"
Can I talk my shit again, Kayne
I think its time
To just remind
You
And anyone like you
that I dont really care what you think about me
and people like me
I wear my hair in an afro
I spread knowledge and love
I am spiritual and have a personal relationship with the most high above
I inhale stregnth and exhale peace
"Gotta slick mouth, you might wanna roll wit me"
Keep my laces tight so i dont trip
And if you try to push me down I'll find a way to make you slip
So watch out
Because Im free...
In mind spirit and body
This is how I look without make-up and I dress according to how I feel that day
I roll wit intellectuals who stimulate your mind and back up everything we say
Okay
But me, myself I really dont care
Look at my hair, does it look like I care?
Because I dont, I do whatever I wanna do
I say whatever I wanna say
I may share myself with some people but I always belong to me
So I am the most important person in my life right now
Therefore no one elses opinions matter!
This is how I live my life
I like to use up all the hot water when I shower...
ommmm so yea- thanks for listening

My reality

I am....
Not impressed by reality
Instead...I prefer to live in a world with no limits
No consequences
Instability is the key
To me
The attainment of freedom in this world is easy
Unlike reality
where you are easily boxed into categories
And shipped out to become an ordinary entity of society
This world with its walls, boxes, shackles and rules
The unexpected is expected, its accepted and not up for ridicule
Inhibition is my mission as I move through this life such as a fish in water
Drowning in the belief that this is all life has to offer
I'd rather swim with no water and float directly under the sun
Not worried about dotting my i's or crossing my t's just letting it go undone

Wishful Thinking and American Dreamin...

I live amongst the haves and the have nots
Fighting to not become a product of my environment
In an unstable world, I often feel like Im the most stable person left
Or the other way around…
Am I the most unstable person in this stable world?
Its debatable, I guess…
With unrealistic dreams, I know that I am a dreamer
Entangled in this place that most call “life”
The cold reality is
That we are warm and comfortable living in fallacy
With false promises to build our hopes and dreams
“The American Dream”
What is it
Can one be righteous and truly attain then live in it?
Im often cut deep by the sharp edges of this circular world
As I try to get out through this glass ceiling, Im a determined girl
Limited yet limitless
While reaching for the sky, I cant help but wonder…
What about fate…
Are we fighting to control our lives when a plan has already been drawn up for us
Or does God just give you the opportunity to create it yourself
Only time can tell
For now
I continue to keep up the pace with this world
And maintain the hopes of finally reaching
Success and completion
Because in the end…when its all said and done…with all your hard work…will it even matter?
Hopefully…

On my way home...

I welcome this new journey yet lost on this open road
Buckled my seat belt, cleared off my dashboard, and rolled my window up cuz its cold
Alone
I roam recklessly in the fast lane with no where to go
Signs all look the same but I chose to make a left at this arrow
Shoulda been more careful
Took a wrong turn somewhere back there listenin to some E.Badu
I was on the straight and narrow, til I met you
Turn up the frequency on Baduizum and turn on my high beams
Cuz its foggy out here and nothin is what it seems
I know its reality but it could very well be a dream
Knowing I should pump the breaks, I just pick up speed
All my baggage is somewhere in the trunk, I take it wit me as I leave
It seems
That in this fog I can clear my mind best as the dusk settles
Apply more pressure and put the petal to the metal
I may be a little lost but I'll get back on track, some way, some how
Til then I'll remain laid back, shades black, optimistic wit a hint of a smile
This may take a while...

Cardboard Boxes

I just sigh...
when people wanna know why...
Im not like them or everyone else in the world...
Why Im just a little static in an analogue t.v., perhaps Ima digital girl... Or maybe neither...
Because I cant fit into anyones idot box unless the revolution is really televised
Otherwise
No, I wont fit into your boxes and I certainly dont believe
That anyone should compromise to other peoples conformity's
It only leads
To the lack of consciousness of self, a consciousness that we all need
So dont try to box me up and stick a lable on me
Please :)

Love Dues

I dont...
believe the belief...
that love dont cost a thing...
and that nothing matters like Lauryn said, not even the wedding ring
I dont...
Buy into the concept of love being fifty fifty
Because I have yet to have broken even so someone must of have jipped me

So many give and give so much of themselves til they cant give no moe
Some are enabling selfish opportunist who only want more
Some people put monetary value on it yet end up wit a whore
Some happily wore their heart on their sleeve and now its on the floor
Seems to me that its a chore
To give love and receive it
So with this economy goin the way it is, I dont believe
That too much of anything in this world is free...
So I gotta give a piece of myself to get you to love me?
Thats lovely
And this is an epiphany
That true love requires a lot of giving
Its a business, you give to me and I give to you and happily we'll be livin
And if you dont have love then most people think that your sittin at home singing the blues
So I guess you can color me pink cuz im content
With being behind on paying my love dues

Food For Thought

I eat forgiveness for breakfast...so i start my day off right...
I munch on growth little by little, to evolve? I just might...
I chow down on love every single night...
Wit a serving of humble pie for desert, its aight
I guess you can say I get full off of life...
Yea I get full off life...
But never full of it...
It makes me sick sometimes but I still love it...
I snack on hope when things dont go my way...
I drink some hot tea and gain wisdom to make it through the day...
My diet is imbalanced from time to time but hey...
Im hungry and the only to get through life is to consume it as food...everyday...