I realized over the Thankstaking holiday that my family is quite dysfunctional..im not bothered by it. I find it rather interesting...
I saw Precious over the weekend...it was the first movie that made me shed a tear..it was sad. People who have color complexes are sad, people who change their eye color are sad, people who perm and wear weave because they want to look mainstream or white are sad. People have become scientific implants-brest, butt, lips, et cetera. They are pathetic to me, and I genuinely feel bad for them....it drove me to write this:
Dear Black Girl
First things first, if you wanna make it as an entertainer, in corporate America, or even as a house wife, there are a few things that you have to do. You absolutely positively make sure your breast are at least a size D, preferably a DD; and you gotta have the ass to match. Your butt has to fat not flabby but fat. Like Lola Love, Melissa Ford, Beyonce, FAT! This may require you to exercise more or get the butt implant that white girls get. Either way, figure it out. Now thats rule number one. Number two - no matter what, you gotta wear high heels, at least like 5 inches. You need to start now, I dont care if you are 10, or 11, whatever...START NOW. You might as well get some calf implants while youre at it and make sure you have nice legs. They cant be flabby and they cant be quarterback strong, they gotta be Rihanna legs. And since you got nice legs and stilettos, you hve to show your legs. Dress like a stripper where ever you go - to the supermarket, interview, gast station, where ever. Then, long as youre dressing like a stripper, you gotta act like one from time to time. Be stereotypical! All publicity is good publicity, so go ahead and act like a ho at all cost! This may require you to walk outside butt naked one day, or kiss other girls, do splitso n the red carpet at the Soul Train Awards...DO IT! Also, you gotta be light skinned. You absolutely gotta be light. If you aint light skinned, you aint gonna make it. It you darker than a brown paper bag, you better start usin that shit that Sammy Sosa uses! Oh yea and you have to have longgggggggggggg weave. It can be straight or curly but it BETTA NOT BE NAPPY. Dont even think about being natural either. If it dont come from a horses ass, then you wont make it. After you COMPLETELY change your appearance to the point where you even your parents recognize you, then you should get start to get soem endorsements - Double Mint gun, Mountain Dew, if youre lucky, Eastern Moters Insurance Company. Maybe afterwards you'll be invited to 106 and Park and thennnn maybe you can focus on your career...good luck